Young Republican Myth Busters
Friday, June 02, 2006
Other College Republican Party Ideas
Ozone Depletion Party: everyone gets a protective tinfoil hat
Extinction Party: barbequed endangered species
TV Party: Burn Fred Rogers in effigy
Spread Democracy Party: Beat up a group of homeless people, ask them to thank you when you are done.
Date Rape Party: she asked for it
WW II Party: dress as your favorite holocaust denier
Stay in the Closet Party: act macho, get in fights, pray to God, cut off your penis, do anything to stop these feelings
Support or Troops Party: set pictures of the liberal media on fire and toast wieners
Carpooling is for Suckers Party: everyone drives separately, whoever gets the best mileage has to give Hummers to everyone else.
Coward Party: support the war by dressing up as your favorite Democrat Veteran
(SNN Norman) College Republicans at Oklahoma University held a first of its kind event, a "Global Cooling Day" to "debunk some of the myths and cool the hyperbole surrounding the issue."
During the event, the students at Oklahoma University were served snow cones and condescension. All the favorite College Republicans were there: trust fund kid, wannabe rich kid, low forehead kid, and trying to show my father I'm a man kid. Strangely enough, the College Republicans thought that the premise of this event was humorous.
The event was also used as a fund raiser and membership drive, as well as an opportunity to sell much coveted College Republican t-Shirts. While the group bragged of giving away 1000 snow cones a day, no information has been released on the number of new members or number of t-shirts sold.
The National College Republican Committee even thought to take the tactic a step further. "Consider staging a similar event on your campus--but make it a beach party instead. Kiddie pools, sand, bikinis--you get the idea." Because nothing says fun like a bunch of pasty, male, over privileged, business majors in bikinis.
College Republicans want you to remember that Science is for liberals. Cars and television and computers work through magic and enthusiasm about the free market. Nuclear weapons are just the hammer of American Jesus.