Bush Sings to Raise Approval Rating
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
(SNN Washington) President Bush said yesterday that he has made the nation safer but warned that it remains threatened by terror. The President then instituted a national program of show tunes.
Bush announced the plan at the National Counterterrorism Center. "America is safer than it has been. But it's not yet safe," Bush said during a break in five hours of singing at the center. "The terrorists hate our singing."
"The enemy has got an advantage when it comes to attacking our homeland. They sing all the time. They have those crazy prayer services and they are always like, ' humina humina chinneny chinneny walla walla ding dong,'" Bush said before leaping into an hour long medley of selections from Man of La Mancha.
However, former President Clinton said Republicans have been "trying to play politics" by suggesting that terrorists only hate us for show tunes. Furthermore, Sen. Harry Reid pointed out that after five years the government has yet to come up with a song to capture Osama bin Laden.
The President's doctors have proclaimed him the healthiest singer ever to sit in the Oval Office. Despite this bold new initiative, the President's approval ratings continue to decline. Some pundits have suggested that Mr. Bush try selections from Phantom of the Opera, or at least the mask.