NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Go Ask Alice

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Alice Humbees, the NewsBlog 5000 advice coloumnist, has returned with a brand new column.


I am sixteen and I have been dating this boy for four months, he wants sex, but I’m not sure. What should I do? Do I owe it to him?

Susan K.


Four Months? Of course you owe it to him. If you stay in a relationship long enough, there are expectations. If you really don’t want to have sex with him and he does, it’s up to you to end the relationship, but after spending four months as a tease you should probably at least give him a happy ending if you ever want to date again.



I am very fond of pornography, but someone told me that viewing images like that devalues females. What should I do?

Tony C


Pornography provides a way for many young girls to earn the kind of money that they could not make as a waitress, or schoolteacher, or corporate attorney. Rather than devaluing females, it is one of the only industries that constantly pays women more than men. If you want more information, check of the June 3rd edition of Backdoor Sluts.



Should I save sex until marriage?

Rose M


This is a mistake many girls often make. You should have sex until marriage. The kind of men who are fun in the sack are rarely good providers. So go out and bang some bikers or ex cons. You will have plenty of time to have no sex after you are married.


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