NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Editors Note: Run from the TSA

Friday, December 22, 2006

WOAI-TV, a San Antonio television station has received documents under the Freedom of Information Act claiming that 3,700 identification badges and uniforms have been lost by the TSA since 2003.

Frankly, that scares the hell out of me. This is just another reason why we don’t need a Freedom of Information Act. Why do we need the government assisting reporters to tell them things we don’t want to hear?

And of course the problem is caused by, once again, liberals. Los Angeles International Airport is missing 636 uniforms. I know you liberals have no work ethic and like to celebrate the end of the day, but for the sake of the country, can’t you keep your pants on until you get home.

But even the most American of Airports, Bush International Airport in Houston was missing 77 items.

So, thanks to the liberals, the next time I walk into an airport, the person asking me to take my shoes off is likely going to be a terrorist. Sadly, we live in a country where I wouldn’t be able to shoot that TSA officer if I was allowed to bring a loaded gun though the line. I guess the 2nd amendment doesn’t apply to airports.

Which leads me to ask: Why would they search me at all? I’m a rich, overweight, white man, the picture of a successful American. I might look like someone who would foreclose on your farm, but I’d never stick a gun in someone’s face to make the country afraid. If I stick a gun in your face, I want you to be afraid. They should be searching the people who look like terrorists, not me. In a right-thinking word, no one would even suspect I had a gun until it was too late.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000

My theroy is they aren't missing any uniforms, they prob. just paid for a whole bunch they never got. It's not terrorism just bad bookkeeping or book cooking.
Yeah, that "Freedom of Information Act" is such a pesky little thing. Kinda like our Bill of Rights, no?
Peace be with you. Always.
You're rich? Hum

Peace is a journey without wars, starving children, greed. And yes, liberals and conservatives.

I do not know peace, only disappointment in 'humanity'.

What you're missing here is that war is peace. We fight over there so we do not have to fight here.

That's ok, because I'm over here. If I was over there, I'd hope the fighting would be here.


Sometimes the more important part of freedom is giving it up, preferably to an oil millionaire.
Hurry back. I miss your new posts. Oh yeah, and have that "Merry" thingie, too!
We lost one more psychic force against "them". Syd Barrett and then James Brown, one can feel the vacuum in space. And, these c-ck knockers are only going to exploit the imbalance in the force.

That's why it is important everybody put on some funk of your choice and crank it out for the next 3 days. We restore the balance and turn this mother out!

Fight evil with funk!
OK, now, enough of this being on vacation thing. We NEED YOU BACK! BLOGGING!!!!
He's not coming back. I hope he wasn't James Brown?
No. On second thought I bet he's coming back. He's probably out at the airport watching with glee the TSA do things like take breaks and go for pees (nah, he wouldn't do things that rhythm).

Knowing Dr. Ryan Maynard (being a long time reader of this blog), he's "borrowed" the petty cash and went to Vegas with Roy.

Anyway, I hope he comes back too.

Remember, Fight evil with Funk!
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