Bush to reset military
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
(SNN Washington) Today President Bush announced a bold new plan. He is going to reset the military.
Asked about Collin Powell’s assessment of our current situation, the President said "I haven't heard the word 'broken,' but I've heard the word, 'stressed.' . . . We need to reset our military. There's no question the military has been used a lot.
Yes, the President understands that just like a computer that hasn’t been restarted in a long time or a video game that’s gone all wrong, our military occasionally needs to be reset.
What many Americans don’t know is that every President is given what is called “Plan B”. Holding no relation to the emergency contraceptive of the same name, “Plan B” is an all-purpose time travel device that will let the President go back in time and correct previous mistakes.
The last time the reset button was used was in 1962 by President Kennedy. A small scuffle with Cuba turned to all out nuclear war. JFK pushed the reset button and the second time through was able to negotiate a compromise. Thus the Cuban Missile Crisis replaced the Destruction of the Southeast United States Crisis.
Yes, very soon the problems with the War on Terror will be erased, and with it our memory, as we will not remember our previous alternate history. And as long as President Bush studied the information on temporal mechanics the Clinton Administration left him during the transition of power.
It will be any minute now.
Really, it will.
Unless, of course, Bush has already gone back in time and this is the best possible was the war on terror could go. Or maybe he just never read the documents.
It should be right about…
Too bad he doesn't know that _his_ video game is connected to the internet, a global system, and that many Arab and Muslim players are sick of Bush hogging the machine.