NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Teens Rediscover Sports

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

(SNN Detroit) While we have been hearing reports of lazy teenagers for years, two areas of excercise for American youth have actually been on the increase, Video Game and Sport Killing.

Video games would not be where anyone would expect to get their exercise, yet recent research at Liverpool John Moores University has shown that kids who regularly play Nintendo Wii games burn 40% more calories than kids who play other game systems or passively watch TV.

Criminologists call it ‘Sport Killing.’ But whatever you want to call it, the number of murders of homeless people by teenagers is the highest in a decade, according to stats by the National Coalition for the Homeless. While these attacks are brutal a senseless two things are certain, beating homeless people to death not only burns calories, it also manages to get teenagers out of the house.

The sad thing is that many parents think that their children are so lazy that they could never murder a homeless person. Take the words of Laura Simpson, whose son beat a 56 year old into a coma with a baseball bat. "It was just hard to comprehend. The first thing was, 'Not Justin. There has to be a mistake,'" Laura said. "You think you know everything that's going on and you don't."

Additional Information
CNN: Watch two teenagers beat a cowering homeless man with bats


Complaints:
Whoa! Now that's some good satire!
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link