Drippy Chocolate Virgin can cure Disbelief, Hunger
Friday, August 18, 2006
(SNN Fountain Valley) A chocolatier suffering a crisis of faith has found her conviction restored with the appearance of the blessed virgin in a pile of chocolate.
Workers at Martucci Angiana's gourmet chocolate company discovered the pile of chocolate drippings that looked like the blessed virgin. "I was raised to believe in the Virgin Mary, but this still gives me the chills," Angiano said. It is fortunate that the image of the virgin appeared near people who had been raised with the image. For instance, the chocolate statue would probably been thrown away in a Muslim chocolate factory.
The chocolate figure was first discovered by Cruz Jacinto who spotted the chocolate as she began her shift. Jacinto says the discovery has renewed her faith. "I have big problems right now, personally, and lately I've been saying that God doesn't exist," she said. "This has given me renewed faith."
The chocolate was put on display in the front window of the shop for a week, but is now kept in a plastic display case in a back room. Unlike the false idols of bunnies sold at Easter, the chocolate virgin is made of solid chocolate.
The figure appears to be a woman holding a baby or perhaps some kind of bird. However, the most striking thing about the figure is how much it actually looks like the Virgin Mary, who was also black and two inches tall.
These Virgin Mary turd worshippers should be forced to eat a large city's worth of turds and then thrown from a flying helicopter.
Fuckers. Idiot, inbred, dirt fuckers.