NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Editor's Note: Obesity in America, a Good Start

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

According to the CDC and some "doctors", obesity is a very real and dangerous epidemic in America. Well, I have one simple statement for them, "Eat me."


William Howard Taft, 25 stone
Additional Taft Resources

Throughout the ages and across cultures, prosperity has been measured by one standard, body fat. As I write this, 64.5 percent of US adults are overweight and 30.5 percent are obese. This is not a bad statistic, but as Americans, I think we can do better.

Let's face it, anybody can be thin. All you have to do is not eat. Now, finally, because of the modern technology of 5 frozen pizzas for $10 and a dozen Swiss cake rolls for $1, anyone in America can be fat, not just the super wealthy. And that's not all.

Our food processors have been working for years on being able to stuff corn syrup into literally everything, even meat. This serves a dual purpose. It allows the average citizen to get more "prosperous" while lowering the costs for food manufacturers. You can make fetid rat blood taste good if you put enough corn syrup in it. In addition, it supports American farmers.

But lately, America's prosperity has been challenged by the Europeans, whose Royale with Cheese consumption has increased exponentially. If we want to prove that the USA is number one, this is not a war we can afford to lose.

So I would like to issue a challenge to all my loyal readers. I challenge you to increase your BMI by 20% by the end of the year. Let's show those Europeans. And if you don't you hate America, hate business, hate prosperity and hate farmers.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000


Complaints: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link