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US negotiates agreement to Stop Turkish Attacks against Kurdish Iraq

Monday, August 21, 2006

(SNN Istanbul) A new agreement has promised to put a stop to Turkish and Iranian joint military operations against both Kurdish Iraq and Iraqi Kurdistan. The countries joined in an attempt to injure terrorists from the Kurdistan Worker’s Party, who are attempting to carve up Turkey.

The military action was an embarrassment to the United States, which has touted Iraqi Kurdistan as a clear win in the war on terror. The Turkish shelling was drawing attention to the fact that there are also Kurdish terrorists.

Also, Turkey is considered the best ally of the United States (after Israel) in the Middle East. In many ways Turkey is considered the most westernized of Muslim countries. Turkey is a NATO member, has applied for EU membership, invented Coffee and Cigarettes and is named after a large bird.

In the new agreement, Turkey has promised not to attack Iraq without the assistance of the United States, recognized as the world’s foremost experts in attacking Iraq. This agreement is also a setback for Iran, which had been coordinating shell attacks into Kurdistan with Turkey.The agreement was cemented in the traditional Turkish way, over a hookah of premium hashish.

It is certain that many are heaving a sigh of relief at this agreement. Any allegiance between Iran and Turkey against the Kurds would have made Turkey our friend’s friend, our enemy’s friend and our friend’s enemy at the same time, thus negating the ability to use black and white diplomacy.


Complaints:
Maybe they could all smoke a big turd and have their collective faith renewed. Fuck 'em all. As I overhead in the old fucks section of the local superstore deli, you can still drill for oil in the middle of the world's largest parking lot.

Hear that Habib? Go park my fucking car! And get the turd of the Virgin Mary out of your mouth! Fucker!
 
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